I Disliked You from Our Very 1st “Hello”

So the title of this blog entry sounds pretty awful, but I’m willing to bet that it’s happened to all of us; I just don’t know what “it’s” actually called. Have you ever met someone & instantly decided that you’d never be friends? I know I have! It’s always kind of confusing & somewhat disappointing. Let me be more specific… There’s a woman who works in my office building who always used to rub me the wrong way; I just wasn’t getting a warm fuzzy vibe from her. She never did or said anything mean… I just didn’t have a good feeling about her & I never really knew why. At that point in time we had never said more than “hi” to each other. Then more recently we had an actual discussion. I figured that I was going to see her around the office building a lot so I might as well make an effort to get to know her. So, I started chatting to her & she tried to “one up” me the whole conversation! It was so awkward! I kept trying to find things in common with her & when I did, she’d say something to one up me! So that just confirmed my initial gut reaction right from the start. Then after that first conversation we ran into each other at a local restaurant that turns into a bar later in the evening. My group of friends & I were sitting at a large table just finishing up a late dinner, around 9:30 PM or so. She & her girl friends were out for drinks & had obviously had a lot more to drink than my group of friends. Well, to make a long story short, she sat down at our table & while I wasn’t even paying attention to her (actually, I was playing on my phone), she looked right at me & said, “You think I’m a B*&%$ don’t you? Well, you don’t have to be jealous of me, I’m married; I’m not trying to steal your man.” It was absolutely ridiculous! I gave her this WTF look & asked if she was confused & didn’t remember that she knows me from where we both work. (I thought that maybe she was so drunk she just didn’t remember that we had met before…) She just kept repeating that she was married & has kids and that I don’t need to be jealous of her. I was absolutely dumbfounded. I took the high road & just laughed & said “trust me, I have absolutely nothing to be jealous of” & I jokingly said, “Girl you’re crazy, I think you’ve just had too much to drink”. But secretly I was thinking: see! I knew right from the start that I was never going to like this girl!

So, what exactly was that initial feeling/reaction I had to that woman? How did I know right from the start that we would never be buddies? I’m just going to chalk it up to women’s’ intuition!

Some People Come Into Our Lives & Stay... Others Come & Go...

Over the years I’ve had a bunch of girl friends. Just recently it’s come to my attention that within the past couple of years I have become more selective with my friendships. As a teenager I had a couple close friends & a ton of acquaintances. In college I had a handful of close girl friends, but I also still had a bunch of “acquaintance friends”. A few years after college I unknowingly started weeding out the “acquaintance friends”. Come to think of it, it started not long after I got engaged... Hmm, maybe there’s a correlation between a) finding a new best friend in the form of a significant other & b) other relationships in my life. Single gals may argue that their married friends stopped hanging out as much once they tied the knot (& I’ll address that in a separate blog), but I really think it has more to do with finding yourself & less to do with being married. So, this brings me to my point that over the years people come & go… And from talking with my girl friends, it seems that we’ve all met & possibly become friends with similar “types” of people. Below are the ones that really stood out from my conversations with my girl friends.


1) The True Friend- Do you have a True Friend? I am very grateful that I have at least 7. The True Friend is almost always mentally stable. That seems awkward to say- but hey, nowadays it seems harder & harder to find “normal” girl friends. Am I getting too picky, or too set in my ways? I’m not sure, but I do know that every woman needs, at the very least, one True Friend. She’s reliable, level-headed, loving, & always there when you need her. Distance cannot separate you from your True Friends- you always seem to pick right up where you left off.

2) Negative Energy- You know this girl. She’s the one who is always complaining about her life but doesn’t do a darn thing to fix any of her problems; she’s completely content with being miserable. Crazy, right? She’s unhappy with the cards life has dealt her, but absolutely refuses (or maybe doesn’t know how) to get to the root of her problems; so you know what that means? She’s going to complain & complain & complain until you feel sorry for her. But ya know what?? You can’t fix someone who doesn’t know they’re broken. You can’t help someone until they’re ready to make a change. The main problem with this friend is that you find yourself being sucked into the black hole of her negativity. Can you escape without some of that negativity rubbing off on you??

3) Soul Searcher- This type of friend is possibly the most confusing. She’s usually in her mid-twenties to early thirties & is in the process of some major soul searching. Is she stuck up? Is that why the world seems to need to revolve around her? Or is she just completely self-conscious & that’s why she’s always talking about herself? Either way, it’s always hit or miss with this girl; she’s either on a high & therefore able to be a great friend, or at rock bottom & so stuck in her own world that no one else exists. Everyone has been in this stage before, the soul searching stage, so my personal goal is to TRY (although sometimes it’s damn near impossible) to just bite my tongue & remember that I’ve been in her shoes at least a time or two before. Give her time; she’ll come around & remind you why ya love her!

4) The “Old” Friend- The “Old” Friend was probably a True Friend at some point in time, but for whatever reason you’ve lost touch over the years. Maybe you still run into her from time to time, or maybe she just crosses your thoughts from time to time. But either way, you still think about her. The only problem is that you have both changed, your lives have gone in different directions & the friendship no longer “fits” the parameters that were set back when you were True Friends. Maybe people come into our lives at a time when you both need each other, then fade out over the years as you’ve grown apart. Do you try to rekindle this friendship, or just let it be?

5) The Acquaintance- This “type” of friend doesn’t really need much of an explanation. We all have acquaintances. Sometimes an acquaintance is a “Work Friend” whom you never really see outside of the job. Sometimes an acquaintance is a True Friend with whom you’ve lost touch. Sometimes an acquaintance is a New Friend. The best thing about an acquaintance is that you get to decide if they’ll stay an acquaintance or become a True Friend.

I hope I haven’t offended anyone by lumping large groups of people into groups. My goal isn’t to judge, just to think through my friendships. Sometimes it’s easier to respond favorably in a tricky situation if you’ve taken the time beforehand to figure out where someone is coming from & how they fit into your life. And I certainly haven’t described everyone in the 5 categories above; I’ve just listed some that stood out right away from my own life & also from conversations w/ girl friends about their friendships (past & present).

Oh & to my personal friends who are reading this: if you care enough to read my thoughts, you most likely fall into the True Friend category- even if you think you’re just a New Friend, Work Friend, etc!

-e

Great Find: Banana Republic Heritage Lightweight Hidden-Pocket Sweater

I bought this sweater (in white) from the local BR store in Va Bch last week. Since then (& keep in mind I just bought it last week) I’ve already worn it 5 times! Just today I bought another color online (construction gray) so that I might fool my friends into thinking I’m not wearing the same sweater every day! But I guess I am willing to blog about it & give my secret away… :) This sweater is so great b/c of its versatility. It’s a must have item for the Spring & Summer. It’s super light weight, but still warm enough when the AC is on full blast at the office, or when you’re riding your bike & it’s a bit chilly.

Here’s how I’ve worn mine so far:

1)To work. It’s a great layering piece to throw over a thin top or a dress.

2)To the bowling alley. I wore it over a bright pink short-sleeve burnout t-shirt.

3)To a restaurant/bar on Fri night. I wore it over a bright purple tank top w/ jeans & flip flops. On a different night I brought my sweater along to throw on over a bright blue sundress after the Beerfest, once the sun went down. We went to dinner, then to a bar after Beerfest & it had gotten chilly later in the evening & my BR sweater was perfect.

4)At home. I lounged around the house in my bikini (& later in my PJs) with this sweater over top.

I didn’t realize it came in Petite, so I got a Regular XS. I’m 5’2 & 122 lbs. Hope that helps w/ sizing! I’m guessing the S Petite would fit as well & maybe be a tad shorter. The Regular length hits just below my bum.

Today the Heritage collection is 25% off (on the BR website).

-e

Recent Addiction: Spray Tanning! Wanna know how to do it right?

Below pic on Lft: Immediately after spray tan.
Top Rt Pic: 1 day after spray tan.


I have lived in Virginia Beach my whole life, so it should come as no surprise that I love to stay tan. With the exception of my mom & dear friend, Lindsey, very few of us are fortunate enough to be blessed with porcelain skin that only seems to grow prettier the fairer it gets. I, on the other hand, look sickly once my tan has long come & gone. I’m ok with being less tan or not-so-tan, but deathly pale I just can not handle. Bronzing lotions, powders, & foundations are ok… but then my neck doesn’t match the color of my face… Everyone knows there’s no substitute to The Real Thing, but spray tanning is as close as it gets! (And it’s a lot healthier too.)
My first time spray tanning was back in college, at ECU, around 2004 or so. Back then the color of the spray tan contained carrot & that’s what caused the dreaded orange look. Another problem was streaking. After you got out of the spray tan booth you had to wipe yourself dry & that could cause streaking.
Thankfully times have changed & the spray tan has improved. I go to Blue Box on North Great Neck Rd in Va Bch. They have the Versa Spa spray tan. All Blue Box locations are not created equal. Call 1st to make sure your location specifically has the Versa Spa spray tan. OK here’s what you need to know to have a successful spray tan experience:

1) It’s a spray tan- it’s not a real tan; it’s never going to be 100% perfect.
2) I try to exfoliate weekly, a day or 2 before I get a spray tan.
3) Dry skin soaks up more color, so don’t slather on lotion before you go. I usually put on a very light layer of lotion earlier in the day & I don’t reapply before my spray tan. The only is exception is my hands. For some reason my hands soak up a lot more color than the rest of my body, so I do apply lotion to my hands before my spray than.
4) You can’t get wet (or sweat) for 6-8 hrs afterwards, so go at night. I go around 9 PM so that I come home & relax for a bit, then go to bed. When you wake up in the morning you can shower & you’re good to go.
5) Bring a hair tie or head band with you b/c you’re hairline will need to be exposed so that you don’t have a ring of color that stops right at the top of your forehead. (They give you a shower cap to put over your hair, but you’re supposed to pull it back a bit to expose a 1/2 inch or so of your hairline.)
6) I always wear loose fitting clothing when I go. You’ll be a bit sticky when you leave, so tight clothing will not feel good.
7) Choose the regular tan for you 1st time (as opposed to the bronzing/darker tan). They also ask if you’d like just the color, or primer & a protective lotion as well. I go for the whole deal. The ladies at the front desk tell me that the primer & the lotion are worth the extra $8 or so. They say you’ll be ok w/o it, but it helps to make the color more even. Get it all for at least your 1st spray tan. I get it all every time.
8) Once you’re back in the spray tan room, you’ll undress, put the cap over your hair, & apply lotion (provided by Blue Box) to your hands. Rub it into your cuticles really well. Slather on the lotion- it’s impossible to apply too much. My only “issue” with spray tanning has been my hands. If I don’t put on a ton of lotion they get too dark.
9) They’ll go over all this w/ you, but once in the spray tan booth (which isn’t completely closed, so you won’t feel claustrophobic), you’ll press the green button to start the process. It’ll tell you exactly what to do- which way to face. The primer will be sprayed on you (front & back), then it’ll spray air to dry you off (front & back). Then the color will be sprayed to 4 sides (front, rt, lft, back) & it’ll dry you off (front & back). Lastly, it’ll spray the lotion on you (front & back) & it’ll dry you off (front & back). Somewhere in the middle you’ll think you’re done (after the lotion has been sprayed & it dries you off), but you’ll need to press the green light again to proceed to the next step (color & primer). You’ll know you’re done w/ the entire process when the green light turns off. It’s not going to allow you to start another round of color & get sprayed w/ tanning solution twice.
10) When you get out, make sure to wipe off the palms of your
hands w/ the wet wipes they provide. Color on the palms of your hands would obviously look ugly. Due to the issue I have w/ my hands getting too dark, I also lightly wipe off the tops of my hands w/ the wet wipes, using circular motions around my fingers and the entire topside of my hands, applying even lighter pressure as I get close to my wrists; it’s as if you’re trying to blend in the color of your hands w/ the color of your wrists/arms.

Totally normal…

-You’re going to look a bit spotty until your 1st shower. This is totally normal.
-Some color may rub off onto your sheets at night, but it’ll wash out.
-The tan will fade with every shower, but mine typically lasts about a week. The color is the darkest the first 3 days, & then begins to fade with my legs & arms still having a trace of color left on the 7th day. My face fades the quickest, unfortunately, b/c it gets washed more frequently.
-The air & color/lotion/primer will be chilly. It’s not as big of an issue on a hot day, but I can only imagine how could it would be during the Winter…
-I’ve NEVER had any streaking, orange appearance, or adverse reaction to the spray tan. With that being said, everyone is different, so you won’t know until you try it. The only issue I’ve had, like I mentioned before, is with my hands. You’ll become a pro the more times you do it. And you may not have that same issue at all… Friends always tell me how surprisingly natural & un-orange my tan is.

I know this sounds like a lot of work for a tan, but it REALLY isn’t. From the counter where you pay to walking out the front door, the entire process takes no more than 10 minutes. Oh and knowing that spray tans don’t cause cancer & wrinkles is the best part of all. Happy tanning!!

Link to Blue Box for more info on the VersaSpa spray tan:
http://sundaysbluebox.com/versaspa-virginia-beach.html