HEY YOU! YOU’RE ANNOYING!

1) PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO SAY HI
This happens to me most frequently in the building where I work. If I pass you in the hallway I’m gonna say hi, or smile at the very least. Every now & then I’ll pass by someone (usually a woman) who refuses to return the greeting. It’s not that big of a deal, I just find it to be so bizarre that someone could just look at me & stare like they didn’t hear me say hello. I’m not looking for a long exchange of pleasantries, just a simple “hi” will do! If it happens more than once with the same person I get this urge to turn around after I’ve walked by them & scream, “I SAID HELLO!!!!!” But so far I’ve managed to resist the urge to do just that. So far…

2) TAILGATING IN THE RIGHT LANE
Ummm… hello? I’m driving the speed limit in the right (slow) lane. The left lane is as open as can be… So, change lanes a*hole! There’s no need to tailgate in the slow lane when the left lane is wide open. (And the opposite is true as well- get out of the passing lane if you’re driving like a grandma.)

3) MEAN GIRLS
I just don’t understand mean girls. In high school & sometimes in college it’s common for girls to be mean because they’re insecure. But later in life that just doesn’t fly as an excuse anymore. Grow up & be nice already! We’re all in this together ladies, so join forces instead of tearing each other down. Hear me mean girls!?

4) MOMMIES
Ok I’m not knocking you for loving little Johnny, but living with & loving a 3 month old doesn’t give you an excuse to set manners aside around grownups. I do not have children, & I may feel differently when that day comes, but for my childless life right now- the following things drive me CRAZY:
a. “THE TMI MOMMY” ON FACEBOOK-
it’s totally cool to post a status update that you had a great time at baby & me yoga, or that you think you have the cutest kid on the block… HOWEVER it is NOT ok to post a status update that has anything to do with: projectile vomit, diarrhea, gas, etc!! I’ mean, come on!! Gross.
b. HELLO, I’M MOMMY!
Why is it that some moms seem to “misplace” their first names when they start having children? Suddenly they start referring to themselves only as “mommy” when they’re not even talking to their children. (i.e., Mommy needs to get a massage! Mommy wants a new car!)
c. JOHHNY’S MOM
I can only imagine how great it is to be a mother… (are you sensing a “but” coming on??)… BUT why do some moms lose their identity when they have children? Not only have you misplaced your first name (see above), but now you’ve taken on a new persona as “Johnny’s Mom”. So you can’t be Sarah anymore? You can only be Johnny’s Mom? Why can’t you be Sarah who happens to have a sweet baby boy by the name of Johnny? You are a hard working wonderful mom, but you’re also an individual with your own thoughts, opinions, dreams, etc. So, change you license plate to “Sarah Rocks!” & trash the “Johhny’s Mom” plates! Your child does NOT define who you are!!

Ok, I’m done venting (for now).

-e